Introduction: I wrote this speech in order to run for student council. I wrote it because I was listening to “I Swear” performed by All 4 1, written by the phenomenal John Michael Montgomery, while I was trying to write a speech. I usually write about what I am going to do during the school year, but that is just so very boring. So this song is a very popular song, and I knew I could relate it to student government, and I most certainly did just that.
I swear by the moon And the stars in the sky I'll be there I swear like the shadow that's by your side I'll be there For better or worse Till death do us part I'll love you with every beat of my heart And I swear
These lyrics, excerpted from the chorus of the phenomenal composition, I Swear, relates very much to my expectations of an exceptional student representative.
One man has to swear that he will do his job to meet the wants and needs of the student body. You're looking at him.
One man has to swear that he will put every ounce of his effort into making this school year a cool year, and you're looking at him.
One man will be the next elected student representative… And you're looking at him.
Introduction: Last Sunday I went to the movies. I went there with the intention of watching a feature film. I wanted to experience the excellence of cinema. I wanted to buy popcorn, purchase a large drink, and obtain a vast amount of candy. I had it all planned out, and I was ready to go. It is amazing how a simple act of kindness could ruin a beautiful day of cinema. This is an actual story, but I did spice it up a bit. I met a lady that was so annoying that I could have run her over with my car, but not in a bad way. I should have seen her coming. I should have sensed her terrible vibe, but I didn’t. All I saw was a lady with a weird hat, and when I hold the door, I don’t discriminate; I hold the door for everyone. I should have made an exception. She came at me at an awkward pace, around 200 SPM (steps per minute). I should have measured the pace, because the average person has a range of 100 to 120 SPM. I was too interested in the feature film I was about to witness. This lady was on a mission. She held her head high, her SPM was steady, and she didn’t even say “thank you” when I held the door. She didn’t even look me in the eye! Now I have held the door for people who don’t say “thank you,” it is a common happening, but I have never, in all my life, had an encounter with anyone who hasn’t at least taken a glance at my face. Something was wrong, and I was willing to give up a day of cinema to find out. She purchased her tickets, but I couldn’t hear what she was seeing, so I said to the guy at the counter, “one ticket to whatever that lady was seeing.” The guy looked at me with a funny face a said, “listen, man, I don’t want any part of it.” He knew I was up to something. I followed that lady into her theatre, and on the sign it read, Hotel for Dogs. I knew there couldn’t be any movie with such a messed up title, so I figured that she was in cahoots with someone at the theatre. Much to my surprise, there were actually people there, and there really was a dumb movie about a hotel for dogs. This made me even angrier because that lady stormed into the theater without making eye contact, without saying thank you, all to watch a movie about a boy genius who uses his mechanical engineering skills to build a hotel for dogs. I had to confront her. “Excuse me, miss?” She looked at me with the same expression that she had before. It didn’t change one bit. “Pardon my asking, but are you here to do anything else besides watch the movie.” The lady still didn’t change her expression. In a terribly condescending tone, she said to me, “I don’t know if you realized or not, but this is Hotel for freakin’ Dogs.” Her voice made it sound like a seven-year-old was talking to me. “I understand that, it is quite remarkable, but you came into the theater in quite a hurry. You also didn’t say thank you.” The lady still looked at me with the weird face. “This isn’t the little leagues, Small-fry; this is very much the big leagues. It’s Hotel for FREAKIN’ Dogs! They’re not messin’ around here.” I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. I told that woman, “You need to seek professional help.” The lady thought she was smart. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.” “You have most likely heard it many times before, and this is most likely because people such as myself have gotten into situations with you such as this one, and they saw how mentally unstable you really are, and therefore everyone is being honest.” I left the theater, hopefully never to see her again.
Elmer was obsessed with turning into an animal. He wanted to be able to turn into any animal he wanted to be. He wanted to be able to fly anywhere he wanted as an eagle. He wanted to be a feared lion. He wanted to crush anything as an elephant.
Elmer fancied himself an intelligent lad. He had been working on an invention that he knew would work. He knew he would be able to create his masterpiece, but he thought that he was missing something.
On day, while Elmer was working on his machine, he heard a knock at the door. He was very interested in who it was. No one had visited him in years. He went to the door and opened it.
A tall, strange looking man was standing at the door. The man said, “Good day sir?”
Elmer looked around, confused about the question/comment, wondering if the question/comment was directed toward him.
“Are you asking me a question or…”
“I said good day,” the tall man said angrily.
“Ok, ok I’m sorry. It’s just that I haven’t heard anyone say good day since I watched Braveheart, and I have never heard anyone say it in a form of a question,” Elmer challenged.
“Obviously you haven’t been to Neverland,” someone said. A strange little man was standing beside the taller man.
Elmer jumped back, and screamed in a high pitched voice, “Good God!!” Elmer and the short man looked at each other awkwardly for a few moments. “I honestly didn’t see that you were there.”
“Whatever. We’re not here to debate my existence; we are here to sell you the piece you need to finish your animal machine masterpiece,” the short man responded.
“How did you know about that,” Elmer snapped. He was extremely confused. He felt as though his baby had been stolen from him.
“Don’t worry. We are not here to steal your idea. We are merely here to sell you the final piece to your puzzle,” the taller man said.
“What do you mean?”
“Your calculations are a bit off. You need the flux laminator.”
Elmer wanted to question whether or not they were stalkers. There was an opportunity to finish his dream, and he was not going to miss it.
“How much?” Elmer asked anxiously.
“$50,000 each night we work on it.”
“Each night?”
The tall man looked at Elmer like he was stupid. “A flux laminator doesn’t just come out of the blue you know.”
Elmer didn’t want to admit that he didn’t know what a flux laminator was. “Of course. Of course. What was I thinking.”
“I’m not sure sir, but you need to get your act together.” The short man made Elmer feel like a small boy.
Elmer didn’t want this condescending conversation to go on any longer. “Well, the sooner you get to work, the sooner I become and eagle, and the less I have to pay.”
The two strange men got to work. They seemed to be working hard, and the flux illuminator seemed to be coming along. Elmer was satisfied with their effort, but because Elmer was a very eager person, he was not satisfied with the time.
They men finished in 13 days, and Elmer was down to his last dollar, but anything was worth becoming any animal he wanted.
“There is one thing sir,” the short man said, “When you become an animal, you will not be seen by anyone who is stupid or not good-looking. You shouldn’t have any trouble seeing yourself as a magnificent creature.”
Elmer became worried. What if he couldn’t see himself as an animal? “Alright,” Elmer said hesitantly. “Let’s do this.”
Elmer stepped into the machine, programmed the machine for a tiger, and let the magic happen.
“My goodness, you are an absolutely brilliant tiger. You are so brilliant that I don’t know if you are a real tiger or not. Don’t eat me tiger!” The tall man said, laughing. “Hahaha I’m kidding.”
Elmer was scared. He couldn’t see himself as anything but plain old Elmer. Elmer thought to himself, “How could this be, I have built an extremely complicated machine, so I must be smart. I feel as though I am much better looking than these to strange men. Is my self-perception really that terrible?”
Of course Elmer didn’t want to admit it, so he said to the men, “I really feel like a tiger. This is great. I just want to hunt something.”
“Let’s try something else then. Why don’t you turn into an eagle? You could fly from building to building. Wouldn’t that be great?” The tall man laughed under his breath.
Elmer got really scared. “This could be bad,” he thought to himself. “Well it shouldn’t be bad because these two men can see me, so I must really look like animals.”
Elmer got in the machine and turned into an eagle. The three men went up to the roof. The two strange men had evil smiles on their faces while Elmer got up on the ledge. Elmer took one final glance back, mustered up some courage and said, “Let’s do this.”
Elmer jumped, and he didn’t survive, because he wasn’t an eagle. The two men gave each other a high-five and ran off with the money.
You know those little capsules? The ones you put in a bowl of water, and then they are a foam thing? Well I got one of those from Toys R’ Us. I told my mom to buy it for me, And to not tell me what shape it would be. She handed it to me and said to me, “This is gonna be good.” At this point I’m pretty darn excited. I got home and put that capsule in a bowl of hot water. Hot water makes it go faster. I guess it wasn’t fast enough. I waited. I waited, waited a little more. I watched a little T.V. I waited. I hate waiting. Thinking about what it could be makes my head spin. “Bryan!! Bryan it’s taking shape!!!” Once it started taking shape, it didn’t stop. It was on a roll. When it was done, it was magical, just magical. It was a beautiful foam dinosaur. It was great.
